They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
