a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
