is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
