So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
