rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
