did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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