"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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