hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
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