i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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