I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
