Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
