just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
