My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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