he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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