No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
