Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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