I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Randomize
