why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
