I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
