I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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