I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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