The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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