So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Randomize
