Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
