It's Friday. Sex?
I smell stomach acid.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Randomize
