He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
