I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
