the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
she peed on how many people?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
