I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
