Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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