when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
