Bisexual people are plain selfish.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
