there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
