god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
