Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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