What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My ATM looks so different sober.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
