My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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