nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
