I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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