even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
