East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
