last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
