i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I need a burrito and a hug.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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