I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dignity is for republicans.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
