Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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