so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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