And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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