loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
false alarm. still invincible.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
