Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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