having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
